In our own words is a sexuality essay written by a mom. This week’s In our own words author is a mom of one.
Interested in contributing? Please contact me at sarahjswofford [at] gmail [dot] com.
SKIN
I’ve made a discovery. It’s so obvious it took me years to figure it out, and now I’m blown away by the power of it: skin. Skin? You ask. Yes, skin. As in my own against by partner’s. I’m not talking holding hands or dancing cheek to cheek.
I’m talking breasts brushing on abdomen, thighs caressing buttocks, palms enjoying the contours of the one I love.
Why is this such a revelation? You ask yourself. Duh, human touch is essential, right? Well, after more than a decade of living together, I think our habits got the best of us.
My normal bedroom attire? Old t-shirts and gym shorts. Recently, I crawled into bed naked and when my partner got in bed beside me, there was a spark like the one I remember from over a decade ago when we first began dating.
It was electric.
For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t focused on what would happen next; I was enjoying the moment viscerally, sensually, fully. This experience made me realize that it doesn’t take a lot to revitalize an intimate relationship. Sometimes all that is necessary is time and space to be together without anything interrupting—even clothing.
My partner and I have a healthy relationship, and I’m happy to say that I am still in love with him after the highs and lows on the trajectory of our path together. As a mother who works full-time outside of the home, I’ve struggled over the last few years to figure out exactly how to balance being a mother, wife, friend, daughter, and my own person.
One area that has definitely suffered in my relationship is my sex life. It has taken a while for my partner and I to get beyond challenges to being intimate more often. We have been using condoms as our form of birth control. This had become the status quo, and is fine with both of us.
However, shortly after the “naked encounter” my partner and I made love without a condom. Once again, the simple act of our bodies coming together with nothing in between felt revolutionary. It can seem complicated to make life easier and more enjoyable.
However, the conclusion I’ve come to lately is that the answer may be waiting under your old college t-shirt.