I know, it’s not Friday, but the recent holidays (including family visits) have wacked-out my regular blogging schedule, so we’ll call today Friday. Don’t you wish it was!
This week’s contributor, Lori V. Fogarsi is a forty-two-year-old mom of two and stepmom of two more. Lori shares her take on being a sexual mama of four, “the kids are now eleven, fourteen, seventeen, and nineteen, and without a doubt, maintaining my sexy side has been a challenge and a learning experience over the years. I’m an author, speaker, and small business consultant who works from home while also doing all of the full-time mom stuff.”
About Lori: Lori Verni-Fogarsi is the author of the novel, “Momnesia,” which has recently been designated a National Indie Excellence Book Awards Finalist. She has been a freelance writer, columnist, journalist, and seminar speaker for 15+ years, and has authored one nonfiction book, “Everything You Need to Know About House Training Puppies and Adult Dogs,” which has been widely acclaimed in its genre. Lori is a happily married mom of two, step mom of two more, and has two cats, both rotten. Her next novel, “Gramnesia” has a release date of April 19, 2013. She invites you to learn more atwww.LoriTheAuthor.com and join her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/
How Would You Describe Your Sex Life After Kids?
Initially, I was so absorbed in parenting that sex was the last thing on my mind! Between breastfeeding and all the changes in my body, there was even a point when I felt like I couldn’t have cared less if I never had sex again!
As the children grew more independent, I realized that I started missing sex, but I was still having a hard time accepting the changes in my body. More recently, I’ve come to accept that just like our emotional selves, our bodies also go through different phases. Instead of lamenting the body I used to have, I do my best to embrace the characteristics I have, right now at this time in my life.
What’s been your biggest sexual challenge since becoming a mom?
Finding the time, energy, and desire to actually have sex, as well as accepting the changes in my physique.
What is the most important thing to you about your sexuality?
I find that I really need to feel desired in order to be in “the mood.” When I’m exhausted, feeling under-appreciated, or overwhelmed with responsibilities, it can be really difficult to get into the spirit.
My husband and I face this challenge by being sure to spend some time together doing “non-kid” things, and by vowing not to spend every moment of our alone time talking about the children and all of their inevitable dilemmas.
What does being a sexual mama mean to you?
To me, it’s more than just the act of sex. It’s about feeling like a sexy person… or even a person at all, in general, rather than being solely defined as a mom. It’s hard, but I strive to balance my responsibilities to my family and to my Self, so I can try to enjoy both.
What’s the best thing about your sex life now?
Without question, it’s having arrived at a place in my relationship with my husband where we are comfortable enough to accept one another’s nuances in both appearance and preferences, yet also maintain a certain “formality” with one another that helps keep somewhat of a dating atmosphere going between us.
Thank you Lori, for taking the time to share your answers for the Friday Five.