As you might imagine, having a blog title with the words mom and sex in it brings many Google searchers who may arrive at my blog expecting something….of a much more explicit nature.
My apologies if you came here hoping for porn—only to find a blog on how feeling sexy after kids can be so hard!
About a month ago, over at Nice Girls Like Sex Too, I saw a funny post about the search terms that bring people to her blog. It inspired me to do something similar.
Here are some of them:
The Randoms
Sex in the bed
I’m curious about why the topic of having sex in a bed required information from a Google search. And I am VERY curious about WHERE this person has been having sex all along.
lousy sex after vasectomy
Shucks man, that sucks. Sorry!
orgasm during brazilian wax?
Are you kidding me? Does this happen to anyone?!?
learning to masturbate
Excellent topic to get information on. If however, you are a thirteen year old boy—you have just found yourself on a blog on sex for moms. This may have eliminated any desire for masturbation for awhile. But don’t worry, it will return quickly. And the best of luck to you!
should I get a brazilian wax before vasectomy?
Ouch and ouch.
any women have an orgasm during brazilian wax?
Okay, seriously? These must be men doing these searches.
feeling sexy again blog
Oh! I’m so glad this search brought you here.
sex famely
I’m assuming you meant family? Or maybe you meant famously? If so, next time use the search terms: Kim Kardashian sex tape (ooh, I bet just writing her name will give me a big traffic bump!)
pump for the clitoris pictures
I’d like to see these pictures too. Though I’m scared to. Does this exist? Sounds painful.
sex toon
I have no advice on this one. We’re mostly a Dora and Transformers household here.
sex in the ded
Last Dance with Mary Jane?
Mama having great sex
Good for you!
The: Is it okay for SAHM to masturbate? searches (Answer, YES!)
do stay at home moms masturbate?
Yes.
do stay at home moms wank more
My favorite! (Mostly because of the awesomeness of the word wank.) And I’m curious about the answer, but I’d venture to say yes? Just because it’s hard to wank at work if your work is at an office outside of your home.
moms who stay at home and masturbate
Welcome to the club.
The Horny Co-Sleeping Parent Searches (Yes, you will someday have sex again)
sex in the family bed
sex family
sex in bed near a child
sexual family bed
“family bed” sex uninhibited
mums sex with others in bed room
sex in bed with sleeping infants
www.sex in the family.com
Is it bad to have sex next to my sleeping child?
If they’re babies, no. If they’re older, not as long as you’re damn sure they won’t wake up. The question is: Can you really relax and enjoy sex if you are stressed about this? My advice if your kid is asleep in your bed? Kitchen counters and the couch.
General Sex Searches
what do you call great sex?
You just know, my friend.
telling kids about sex orgasm
A good talk to have.
the brazilian wax feminism sensation
What’s the sensation? The wax or the feminism?
Talking to my daughter about masturbation
Again, an excellent conversation to have.
www.romanticfeelingsexywatching.com
An interesting mix of terms here that I would search for myself just to see if you are on to something I should know about, but I’m scared of getting a computer virus.
vasectomy bdsm
Never knew about this. Is getting the vasectomy part of the BDSM?
children hearing orgasm
That was probably embarrassing. It happens, move on.
roller derby 90 day challenge
Not sure if getting your mojo back is part of the challenge, but it should be.
all off moms sex
I have no idea what this means but it sounds diiirrrrty.
vacation sex
Yes!
sex rollerderby
Not at my practices.
monogamish rules
Try Dan Savage.
third simester pregnant “high libido”
College co-ed?
mama having great sex
This search is to the point—and good for you!
moms sex vacation
Is there a particular cruise line or resort where this is available? I think my readers would want to know.
The Creepy Searches
All I’m going to say about these next search terms, is that the key is in the context. Which I know nothing of. (I just REALLY hope the mother in these searches is the baby mama and not your mama mama.)
Hilarious. I love this post.
Thanks!!
Google: Making it easier to be an inconspicuous creeper since 1998.
And then came Facebook.