I have numerous hopes and aspirations for my daughter. I gave her a strong name without adjectives like “rainbow” or “blue”—her namesake is a famed feminist writer. Before she was born I practiced writing it down on lined paper to see what it would look like following the words Supreme Court Justice. I see her tiny fingers and picture three-pointers shot and tree limbs climbed.
I also hope that she will be sexually confident and empowered in her life.
I believe that as women we should all dream that our daughters will confidently know how to pleasure themselves and then as a wise mama I know says, “accept nothing else!”
A vagina and all it entails (clitoris, vulva, labia, urethra) requires mystery to unravel and I we should hope our daughters will have the tenacity to unselfconsciously figure out what works for them and what doesn’t.
We talk to our kids about waiting for the right person to have sex, how to use protection, but I think we miss an important part: letting them know that confident self-exploration isn’t just okay—it’s great!
Most importantly, I want my daughter to grow into a woman who knows what she likes and wants and is unafraid to ask for it. My wish for her is that she be confident in all aspects of her live, including her sexuality. And if she scares off more than a few boys or girls in the process, well, even better.