My first sexual role model was a high school friend who matter-of-factly told me about what sex was like, way before sex was even a possibility for me. I was intrigued, scared, and I admired her honesty. (She told me it wasn’t so great at first, but that it got better, and then, it could be amazing.)
In college it was the friend who had tried—it seemed to me—every existent type of contraception; who gave me the straight scoop on where, how much, which one, and all that jazz. The friend who then drove me to Planned Parenthood.
A woman in my dorm who moved from sexual relationship to sexual relationship with confidence and power taught me about knowing what feels good to you.
There was the friend of a friend who told me about masturbating so much she sometimes didn’t want to leave her house. (I made my first sex-shop purchase, shortly thereafter.) And then, the friend who shared the specific television shows she loved to masturbate to.
Nowadays, my sexual role models are moms in long-term relationships who keep vibrant, sexy relationships going with their partners. When I’ve been bogged down in the exhaustion of motherhood and seen my partner only as the guy who is going to get the kids off my hands, these women remind me of the importance of tending to your relationship’s sexual connection, even if it is infrequently, as best you can. Making it a priority.
So who are your sexual role models? And why? What qualities did they have that you admired?